Living Our Lives.....for Others

"Pait mein khaya kisi nay nahin deykha,

Tann pay pehna, sab nay deykha."

Ever heard of this saying? This famous Urdu proverb literally translates as:

"Nobody sees what you eat, but everyone sees what you wear"

So we can eat any junk we like but still have to remain well-dressed so we can create a good impression on others. True, isn't it?

Don't you think we are living our lives today for others? No matter what we want, we have to stop and rethink before taking a decision. How many times have you personally said to yourself while picking up clothes from your wardrobe to wear: "This looks nice but what will my friends or neighbours think of me if I wear this slim-fitted jeans when I go out?" Once? Twice? Or does it happen every now and then? You know you can completely flatter the look, but you just can't wear what you like.

Likewise, have you noticed how we are so tempted to the buy most expensive of all brands of clothing and accessories just to create an impression on others. We want people to go 'WOW' when we  carry a £1000 designer Gucci bag. We could have bought a year's worth of clothing for ourselves for that sort of an amount and still been content or even better fed an army of those hungry and homeless people dwelling on our streets. Couldn't we? But how would any of that make others envy you? How would you make those heads turn and jaws drop?

When it comes to taking 'big' decisions in life, such as those for your career or those about who you want to spend the rest of your life with, we have to think about what our society will think of those decisions first. If somebody has those exceptional talents to create unique masterpieces of art, he or she is still 'forced' by the society to become an engineer or doctor. Why? Because our society still considers those professions as the most reputable ones. Because the parents know their children will earn well in those professions. Where does our choice come in? What about our God-gifted talents? They mean nothing to our so-called society.

As bitter as it sounds, even today, in our society many young women are forced into arranged marriages with blokes they have either never or hardly ever met. Shouldn't the girl be involved in taking this decision. Doesn't she have the right to participate in the decision of who she would like to spend the rest of life with? If she refuses, her relatives, friends and the whole neighbourhood, won't let her live peacefully. They will shatter her life with ugly remarks. And even worse, if the marriage doesn't work and she gets separated or divorced, her life will be ruined by them again. She won't be able to remarry. Why, I ask? Why?


The society we dwell in, unfortunately, we are more worried about what others do and think than ourselves. Why just can't we live our lives for ourselves and let others live their lives their way too? If only we understood, we would all be leading a very healthy and joyous life. At the end of the day, it's our lives we are talking about here..and life is too short to keep others happy all the time. We ought to have the right to lead our way!