The 7 Most Effective Time Management Tips: Learn to Say NO

Tip #6: Learn to Say No

I hate a man who always says 'yes' to me. When I say 'no' I like a man who also says 'no.'

~ Samuel Goldwyn

No- I am not trying to spread any negativity here. This post is to make you aware of those times when you just have to say NO. While it is easy for some, I know it is very hard for many, and that includes me!



That's right! I just hate the idea of saying NO, even when I so want to. And I know I am not alone. There is a big bunch of people out there who hesitate to say NO.

Why, Oh Why I Can't Say NO?

I'll tell you why:

• We are all people pleasers and can't stand to disappoint them.
• We feel responsible to do everything ourselves.
• We believe that we’re the best at doing something. 
• We assume saying no will hurt another person's feelings.
• We think saying no will smear our reputation or have a negative effect on our career.
• We feel that we’ll be letting someone down by saying no. 

While some of the above reasons may be 'true assumptions', there is a lot of damage we do to ourselves when we say 'yes' to everything.

The Harm That Not Saying No Brings Us

• We raise our level of stress. 
• We over-burden ourselves with more work than we can handle.
• We forget our priorities.
• We feel tired, depressed and irritable 
• We never have enough time for ourselves.
• We are no longer fun to live with.

Ask yourself: Is all the above worth going through, just to please others? Let's be honest-sometimes we have to be a little selfish and think about yourself- I mean sometimes, if not always....

What Saying No Can Do For You?

When you say no to someone, or some tasks, you are making a lot of difference to your life-to our work life, family life. Not just that, you make an impact on the lives of others too. Most of all, you are saving yourself time to do tasks that matter to you. Saying no is, in a way, learning to set your priorities to which I have talked about in my one of my previous posts.


Let me share with you an experience of mine- about how I felt when I could not say no (I still find it hard to, but have learnt to refuse politely).


About five years ago, twice a week, every week, there was a couple who used to come to my place and preach at my door. I wasn't interested as honestly speaking they weren't preaching my religion. I should have said, No, thank you as soon as they started preaching, but silly me.....I kept listening and ignoring my little one playing inside the house.



On day one, they left me with a task and said they'd come again next time. I was baffled and even though I didn't want them to come back, I just couldn't say NO. How silly was I back then! They kept coming back, week after week, and silly old me, I couldn't simply ask them to not come back again. Sometimes, I had to put off my writing jobs for them. At other times, they would interrupt me while I was preparing dinner. It just did not end. It continued for a good 4 months! YES! 4 whole months until Christmas when they stopped coming themselves- for a good 3 months.

 That's 480 minutes or 8 hours of my time gone- for NOTHING!



That was it! I had had enough. I had to build the courage to say no. I was raising a young family back then and was working as a freelance writer too. I didn't have enough time to listen to what they were saying, even if it was just for 15 minutes a day. I had my own priorities to see to. 

When they resumed their preaching during spring time, they came to me again. I answered the door and before they could say something, I just said. I am sorry, but I am not interested in these preachings anymore. They simply left with a positive note, saying that it's good to have made an informed decision. It was that simple- and that hard!

Ways To Say NO Nicely

While I understand saying no can be often hard, the good news is, there are ways to do politely, and you have to teach yourself these ways to help yourself. 

Try these:

• Thanks, but I need some time to think about it.
• I am sorry, but I can't do it at this time.
• I would have loved to but I have got another task.
• I'll get back to you after I have finished another important job.
• I am sorry but I have to say no. Thanks for asking!

If you want to be successful, one of the best skills is to say no to things that don't matter to you. The truth is, the more successful you are, the more in demand you get. People need your time but you have your work, family and yourself to look after too, and not just be people pleasers all the time. 

Learning to say no is, in fact, one of the most important skills or tactics to learn to manage your time effectively. Your priorities should come first always. Stop thinking you are the best at everything and you need to handle everything yourself. Often delegating your tasks to others helps sometimes too.

“Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it. You teach people how to treat you by deciding what you will and won’t accept.” 

― Anna Taylor

If you are tempted to say yes, do not reply hastily. Give a pause and ask them for some time to think about it. This will relieve some pressure. You can take your time to then decide if it is all actually worth it.


If you know from a previous experience that an activity is going to be a time waster or cause burnout then do yourself a big favor and avoid it.


Remember, we all, no matter how successful we are, have only 24 hours a day or 1440 minutes in each day. How we use this time is all upon us.

“Let today mark a new beginning for you. Give yourself permission to say NO without feeling guilty, mean, or selfish. Anybody who gets upset and/or expects you to say YES all of the time clearly doesn't have your best interest at heart. Always remember: You have a right to say NO without having to explain yourself.Be at peace with your decisions.” 

― Stephanie Lahart