If you've been reading my blogs, you know I am always encouraging everyone to work from home. I've been sharing my experience of working as a freelance writer here with you. As I have worked from home as a freelance content writer and ghostwriter for the last 10 years of my life, I seem to know the ins and outs of this area well, if I dare say so myself.
Yes, I admit it. I've absolutely loved the challenges of freelancing so far. It has seemed to fit in so well around my family and home.
In my previous posts I've bragged about how comfortably I make a living from my couch by just using my laptop. I've talked about how amazingly I have managed to create a healthy work-life balance....But sorry, guys! Today is not one of those days.
Today I'll reveal an honest yet brutal truth of my life. I suffer from something called 'Work At Home Mom Depression' (WAHMD). And before you try to Google the term, I'll tell you it's what I just made up. But it does exist with other names around!
Today's post may seem contrary to all what I have said to date. Don't get me wrong- freelancing is great, but like everything else, it comes with its own pros and cons. The only trouble is that to date I have only been talking about its advantages. Now is the time to reveal its dark side.
WAHMD is the elephant in the room that understands or talks about, EVER. It's huge, but nobody seems to see or notice it sitting there.
I mean, it's insane....
How dare I complain after getting this amazing opportunity to work from home and still provide quality time to my family?
How dare I complain when I don't have a 9 to 5 routine?
How dare I complain when I don't have to get up early get ready for work at 6am?
How dare I complain having the luxury to work in my PJs?
How dare I complain when I don't have to drive through the heavy traffic during those rush hours?
How dare I?
Of course, I am thankful for all I have and what being a freelance writer has given me. But, the life of a freelancer is not that simple. I am grateful to be able to stay at home and raise my little ones. I am grateful to cook fresh healthy meals everyday- but honestly, that is literally all I have become over the years.
About 3 years ago, a so-called 'friend' and I caught up a get-together at another friend's. This so-called friend knew exactly what I do for a living, but she broke the ice by asking me one question,
So Tasneem, what's up these days? Still enjoying the luxury of sitting at home and doing nothing?
While that was a conversation-starter for her, it was a sharp spear that hit me straight into the heart and broke it into so many pieces that no soul on earth can count.
While, I tried hard to keep my lips curved upwards, I do not actually know how long it took me to get over that remark. Or perhaps, I never actually got over it in true sense. But, that question of hers made me realise the brutal hard-hitting truth- no matter how hard I work, people will never take anyone (and that includes me) working from home seriously.
Nobody ever understands or talks about the facts that when you work from home,
1. You may feel lonely. You feel isolated from the rest of the world. But who cares, right? You were with your family all day. What else do you need?
2. You have lost your identity. Who are you anyway? Just another ordinary human being. Not having worked on a renowned post for a reputable company, what have you done all these years to brag about on your resume'? You have no sense of self. If you're ever going to step out of home and work, your chances of securing a job are thin or almost none.
3. You sacrifice your career just so you can raise a family. You had better prospects waiting but your family became your priority. Nobody understands that sacrifice. You were expected to do just that when you got married.
4. You cry secretly in bed or in the shower because had a rough, overwhelming day working from your couch. No one understands why you're tired. After all, you were sitting at home, doing nothing.
5. You are irritable. You had been working all day. You need a mental break. You get aggravated easily and you let it all out on your easy targets- your husband or kids or anyone you find close by.
6. Why the house is a wreck some days. You just found no time to visit the loo as you had a deadline to meet- let alone the idea to bring the house back in order as you usually do.
7. You need a break. You just need a couple of minutes of 'me-time'. You don't like speaking to anyone or touching you then. You want to go out alone or just shut the door of your room and enjoy some relaxing music. You're exhausted, just because you'd been sitting at home comfortably all day.
8. It feels like an insult to be told you don't have a "real job." Working on a laptop is mentally exhausting, and then looking after your kids, doing all those chores around the house, cooking and cleaning everyday adds up to the exhaustion. That's a lot of work to be done in one day, but obviously those working from work desks at proper 'offices' do a lot more.
9. You fall asleep with the laptop in your hands most days. You want nothing but a peaceful sleep at the end of the day, but your partners feel you are no longer interested in them or have time to spare with them.
10. You feel like a maid hired for free. Why, you are working women too- working from home? You contribute mentally, physically and financially to your household. But, SIGH!
There, I've revealed the dark side of being a freelance writer... And I feel better already.
What people do not understand that just being a parent is a full time job itself. I salute those who go out and work and then come back home to do more. But, please be kind to those who stay at home. Spend a day with them (while they are working normally and not hanging around with you) to understand what they do and how hard they work. Be kind to them and avoid being sarcastic or saying nasty things like-
"Wow, your house looks so clean....You can manage to do it as you've got ample time to spare at home."
or
"Why are you complaining when everyone is doing the same or more than you- even those who go out and work?"
or
"You chose to have kids yourself, so whatever you do is nothing extra-ordinary. You chose the life you are living."
We are all humans and we work hard to pull our lives together and give them a meaning....working from home or not. Respect that.
Next time when you hear a stay at home mum venting her frustrations, understand she's going through WAHMD. Listen to her. Empathize with her. Make her feel like she's somebody. That she is working hard. Tell her that her struggles are not invalid. Make her feel better about herself.
Yes, I admit it. I've absolutely loved the challenges of freelancing so far. It has seemed to fit in so well around my family and home.
In my previous posts I've bragged about how comfortably I make a living from my couch by just using my laptop. I've talked about how amazingly I have managed to create a healthy work-life balance....But sorry, guys! Today is not one of those days.
Today I'll reveal an honest yet brutal truth of my life. I suffer from something called 'Work At Home Mom Depression' (WAHMD). And before you try to Google the term, I'll tell you it's what I just made up. But it does exist with other names around!
Today's post may seem contrary to all what I have said to date. Don't get me wrong- freelancing is great, but like everything else, it comes with its own pros and cons. The only trouble is that to date I have only been talking about its advantages. Now is the time to reveal its dark side.
WAHMD is the elephant in the room that understands or talks about, EVER. It's huge, but nobody seems to see or notice it sitting there.
I mean, it's insane....
How dare I complain after getting this amazing opportunity to work from home and still provide quality time to my family?
How dare I complain when I don't have a 9 to 5 routine?
How dare I complain when I don't have to get up early get ready for work at 6am?
How dare I complain having the luxury to work in my PJs?
How dare I complain when I don't have to drive through the heavy traffic during those rush hours?
How dare I?
Of course, I am thankful for all I have and what being a freelance writer has given me. But, the life of a freelancer is not that simple. I am grateful to be able to stay at home and raise my little ones. I am grateful to cook fresh healthy meals everyday- but honestly, that is literally all I have become over the years.
About 3 years ago, a so-called 'friend' and I caught up a get-together at another friend's. This so-called friend knew exactly what I do for a living, but she broke the ice by asking me one question,
So Tasneem, what's up these days? Still enjoying the luxury of sitting at home and doing nothing?
While that was a conversation-starter for her, it was a sharp spear that hit me straight into the heart and broke it into so many pieces that no soul on earth can count.
While, I tried hard to keep my lips curved upwards, I do not actually know how long it took me to get over that remark. Or perhaps, I never actually got over it in true sense. But, that question of hers made me realise the brutal hard-hitting truth- no matter how hard I work, people will never take anyone (and that includes me) working from home seriously.
Nobody ever understands or talks about the facts that when you work from home,
1. You may feel lonely. You feel isolated from the rest of the world. But who cares, right? You were with your family all day. What else do you need?
2. You have lost your identity. Who are you anyway? Just another ordinary human being. Not having worked on a renowned post for a reputable company, what have you done all these years to brag about on your resume'? You have no sense of self. If you're ever going to step out of home and work, your chances of securing a job are thin or almost none.
3. You sacrifice your career just so you can raise a family. You had better prospects waiting but your family became your priority. Nobody understands that sacrifice. You were expected to do just that when you got married.
4. You cry secretly in bed or in the shower because had a rough, overwhelming day working from your couch. No one understands why you're tired. After all, you were sitting at home, doing nothing.
5. You are irritable. You had been working all day. You need a mental break. You get aggravated easily and you let it all out on your easy targets- your husband or kids or anyone you find close by.
6. Why the house is a wreck some days. You just found no time to visit the loo as you had a deadline to meet- let alone the idea to bring the house back in order as you usually do.
7. You need a break. You just need a couple of minutes of 'me-time'. You don't like speaking to anyone or touching you then. You want to go out alone or just shut the door of your room and enjoy some relaxing music. You're exhausted, just because you'd been sitting at home comfortably all day.
8. It feels like an insult to be told you don't have a "real job." Working on a laptop is mentally exhausting, and then looking after your kids, doing all those chores around the house, cooking and cleaning everyday adds up to the exhaustion. That's a lot of work to be done in one day, but obviously those working from work desks at proper 'offices' do a lot more.
9. You fall asleep with the laptop in your hands most days. You want nothing but a peaceful sleep at the end of the day, but your partners feel you are no longer interested in them or have time to spare with them.
10. You feel like a maid hired for free. Why, you are working women too- working from home? You contribute mentally, physically and financially to your household. But, SIGH!
There, I've revealed the dark side of being a freelance writer... And I feel better already.
What people do not understand that just being a parent is a full time job itself. I salute those who go out and work and then come back home to do more. But, please be kind to those who stay at home. Spend a day with them (while they are working normally and not hanging around with you) to understand what they do and how hard they work. Be kind to them and avoid being sarcastic or saying nasty things like-
"Wow, your house looks so clean....You can manage to do it as you've got ample time to spare at home."
or
"Why are you complaining when everyone is doing the same or more than you- even those who go out and work?"
or
"You chose to have kids yourself, so whatever you do is nothing extra-ordinary. You chose the life you are living."
We are all humans and we work hard to pull our lives together and give them a meaning....working from home or not. Respect that.
Next time when you hear a stay at home mum venting her frustrations, understand she's going through WAHMD. Listen to her. Empathize with her. Make her feel like she's somebody. That she is working hard. Tell her that her struggles are not invalid. Make her feel better about herself.
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ReplyDeleteThanks for this info Gourav Bahl
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